


Kerr vs Lacewood (Pokemon Ship Wars)

by LykuArt



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: CalemIsABaby, CalemIsLonelyAndGay, Crack Relationships, F/M, Joke Fic, KerrShipping, Lacewoodshipping, M/M, SerenaIsThereToo, StealthyLysandre, StupidSycamore, We Love Calem, perfectworldshipping - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22342387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LykuArt/pseuds/LykuArt
Summary: What happens when two kids storm into Professor Sycamore’s lab asking who he loves?
Relationships: Calme | Calem/Platane-hakase | Professor Augustine Sycamore, Fleur-de-lis | Lysandre/Platane-hakase | Professor Augustine Sycamore, Platane-hakase | Professor Augustine Sycamore/Serena
Kudos: 9





	Kerr vs Lacewood (Pokemon Ship Wars)

“Welcome back mes amis! What brings you back here?” Sycamore greets as the two trainers, Calem and Serena, enter his lab. 

“Hey- watch it-“ Calem says loudly to Serena as she rushes up to the professor. She soon is up in his face, making puppy dog eyes when she asks him the question.

“Which one of us do you like more?” She practically pleads for an answer, an answer that should be her. Calem soon pulls her away from Sycamore as he answers.

“Well- uh- you are both great trainers- and you both- uh- are very good with becoming friends with others- and you both are very successful and sweet- and-“

“He called me sweet!” Serena scoffs at Calem, until he pipes up.

“He called me sweet too.” 

“Oh shut up, Calem! His opinion of you doesn’t matter-!” 

“I can’t take it, I’m this close to losing it,” Calem monotonically speaks as if about to blow.

“Hold up you two- what is this about?” Sycamore inquires as Serena looks up at him before she punches Calem square in the face. “Serena!! What the frick is up with you two?!”

“Actually it’s just—-“ 

“You two can’t be fighting in my lab! I can’t have blood on my lab coat! How will I look presentable?!”

Every morning I get home, and Lysandre greets me with  
“Sycamore! Why don’t you look presentable!!”  
“What?” He looks at himself for any flaw.  
“There is a single hair right there!”  
“What—“  
“You’re clothes are not perfectly straight and perfectly clean!”  
“If I am not perfectly straight- how do you expect my clothes to be perfectly straight?!” “Why don’t you go cry in the corner in your 1 million dollar, perfectly tailored, from the boutique down the corner, expensive fabric suit.”

“Professor- we like you and Serena wanted to see who you liked back— even though I TOLD HER THAT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.” Calem yells at Serena who is currently looking away from him and towards the professor. 

“Oh, I see.” Augustine goes into mild dilemma trying to figure out how to explain his situation to them. “ Well first off, I’m gay.” Serena goes to weep in the corner, leaving a skeptical Calem. “And I’m married to this lovely man.” He proceeds to turn around to the man standing next to him the entire time. 

“Woah— what the fuck— when did you get there?!?” Calem screeches.

“I’ve been here listening to your nonsense the entire time.” Lysandre growls, causing the hair on Calem’s neck to rise. “Augustine why do you have to have so many underage kids fawn after you? This needs to stop. It happens every day.”

“Mon Cher— I don’t try to lead them on, they just like me for some reason.” Augustine pleas.

“No, you practically lead both of us on that you were single.” Calem continues, and points to the currently bawling Serena. “And that you weren’t just gay but also into women.”

Lysandre groans before responding, “exactly women, not girls. Although he isn’t into women.”

“Lysie I didn’t mean to-“ Augustine continues to try pleading to him.

“It’s fine, we just don’t need a proposed scandal.”

“I wasn’t trying to start a scandal!”

“I’ll just take Serena and leave, does that sound good? Yes? Alright, you two should just continue without us. Okay? Good!” Calem squeezes his way out of the conversation between the two husbands, proceeding to grab Serena and make a run for it.

“This happens every day?” Continues one of the scientists, who is currently new to the whole shabang.

“Yes, it does.”   
“Every fucking day.”  
“To no end.”  
“Save us all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, sorry if that was too much of a journey. I’ve had this fic for a while and I just thought it was great. Anyways— Lysandre and Augustine are married, fight me. (Don’t actually.)   
> Uhhhhmmmm I have a few more fics I’m gonna make and post,, some of them are already made though, they just need editing.


End file.
